Preparing to say goodbye 💛
As I sit here beside you, I feel so much pain, knowing you won't be here tomorrow. I try so hard to recall the joy I experienced with you over the last 13 years, but right now, they are clouded by the focus my thoughts give me of the future without you. They say cherish the good times and remember what you had; know that you're doing the right thing by him. I know this to be true; after all, it's the rational side of my thinking. However, emotions continue to seep through as they are part of what I have with you, part of my everyday life, the one who would feel any distress I may be holding before I am aware myself!
You were like my child, my brother, and my father during your years; nurtured as a puppy, became a sibling as you grew, and then became the wisest one in our family, the only one who played every role within one life. This life that seems so short but understandably, as one who can offer so much in a short time, has the right to move on; for you, it must have seemed so much longer than 13 years.
I now sit beside you and wonder if you're moving on to become our guardian angel who will look over us as a family, to continue to protect us in another form. To let go is the hardest experience we as a family have had to consider over the last several months. We have closely monitored our own emotions and your quality of life to better understand what the right thing is for you. Today as I sit beside you, I'm still unsure, but I know this is more about me than maybe you, so today I will need to accept that a decision like this may never feel right and that I can choose to have you in my life in another way.
I will learn to live with you in a new way, knowing you are always here with us in some form. As I continue to reflect without really knowing what's next for you and how it will be for us without you, I become more aware that we need to let go so you can be at peace.
I hereby say 'thank you, Che, for giving us unconditional love over the years, for carrying so many of our emotions and offering so much support without having words to express your love. It showed that words are not required, just your silent presence that provided so much more. You were and always will be part of our family, and though we will miss you every day, we picture you back up on your paws, running around and enjoying all the things you always had. I love what we had and will learn to love you in a new way!
תגובות